Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Ramblings from a random Friday in the Fall

Okay, so I'm clearing out some folders on my computer, and I've come across a few random Word documents that I've written, but never posted -- I'm sure I had some good reason at the time, but now I'm starting to feel a little more confident with my postings... just thinking to myself that I'm posting these for me, and if someone reads it, then that's pretty cool... so why let anything hold me back from writing what I feel and putting it here? I prefer to write about fun experiences and adventures I have, and I will definitely continue those, but I'm also going to be throwing in random thoughts and writings, too. So that'll be fun. I hope, if you're reading this, that you enjoy a few of them, anyway!! :)

So, here's something I wrote on some random, fall Friday:


It’s raining. I sometimes wonder if it’s strange that I like the rain. I watched everybody running from it this morning. Covering their heads with whatever they’re holding. A newspaper, a briefcase, a purse… some pulled their jackets over the top of the heads. Some that were prepared had umbrellas. I spent 15 minutes with a flat iron straightening my hair this morning, and with the slightest bit of humidity, it’ll get frizzy, but I really don’t care. I took a moment and looked to the sky – just for a moment – and felt the rain on my face. It felt really nice.

What a perfect rain. It’s fall. The air is crisp and cool, and the rain seems to cleanse any pollen or dust in the air. The sky is gray and moving as if it were alive.

I wish I could put my backpack on and hike. There are so many mornings I wake up and smell something in the air that puts me into a spin and sets me down somewhere on the trail. Just for a second or two, and then I snap back into reality. Then the daydreaming begins.

I think this morning reminded me of the River to River Trail. Mom and I dealt with SO many rainy days on that trail. That is where I learned first-hand what backpackers do when it’s raining. I always wondered, “What do they do when they wake up and it’s raining? How do they pack up and stay dry?”

The answer? They get wet.

I loved learning things like that. I remember sitting in the tent with my mom thinking we’d wait it out, and after a half hour, we just got out, and hurriedly packed the tent into its stuff sack. It probably weighed twice as much as normal. It rained all day, so if we had waited, we wouldn’t have gotten anywhere. But things always work out.

Getting wet from rain is okay. It dries.

Anyway, I woke up feeling really blue, and I don’t think I’ve kicked it yet. I really would like to be out in that rain today. It’s the perfect weather for my mood. I guess I’m not following the general “Happy Friday” work rule today.

I also just came to a realization that there are certain people that I see every day at work that I was wrong about. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, and I’m glad I did, but… I work really hard at not judging people. I don’t like to be judged, so I don’t like to judge others. That can be a difficult task sometimes, though, for so many different reasons. I’ve heard some negative things about certain people, and when that happened, I did what I would normally do – I put in a little extra effort to be friendly and open so that I can get to know the person on my own – this way, I can formulate my own opinion. I can usually get along with anyone just fine. But I do really have a hard time with people that are nice to me and treat me like a friend, and then I find out that there is more underneath the facade. I either overhear something, or their actions prove that aren’t trying to be my friend. It really bums me out, and I honestly don’t know how to deal with that. I can’t be mean back, and I don’t have specifics to call anyone out – I probably wouldn’t have the courage anyway. I hate the thought of putting someone in an uncomfortable position, even if they have it coming.

I have to limit these negative people in my life somehow. It’s very difficult to do when you see them so much. I could go on a rant, but I don’t think that will help me, anyway.

Why does it sometimes seem like some people are just out to ruin others? I’m thinking that they feel it’s the only way for them to move up. I don’t believe in this style – complaining about others, or “tattling” on them, with the only purpose to make themselves look better. It just doesn’t seem like an honest way to accomplish things.

I like to think it all comes down to the Golden Rule -- and by following it, everything becomes pretty simple:
“Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”

I’m listening to Athlete today, and it’s very mellow and puts me in the rain. All is well for now.

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