Want vs. Need

It's a never ending battle. And when I get caught up in it, I will read this. A few lyrics and a few thoughts...

I sometimes really just have to sit back, stop stressing, breathe and remember, "I have everything I need and so much more."

All the thoughts about the things that I want can so easily overtake my true needs. I tend to forget sometimes that I don't need much. Remember, Robin? Remember when you lived on the essentials? When your biggest worry was where you were going to sleep for the night? Would the ground be soft pine boughs, or rough pebbles? Would it maybe even be a mattress? Where were you going to get water for the next day? Would it be a gas station bathroom sink? A pretty, crystal-clear stream? A pothole in a flat rock in the middle of the Moab desert? Would it taste clear, like iodine, like Nuun, like stinky sink water? Did it matter, anyway? It was water. You had some. You were happy.

I've got all I need, and I'm happy. **remember that, robin**

Things I want [but don't need] -- I want to go out on weekend excursions whenever I please. I want to go shopping and buy the best gear. I want to buy Adam birthday and Christmas presents. I want to visit other countries. I want to through-hike every trail in existence! I want to sail, and raft, and climb, and ski, and hike, and run, and, and, and... I want to have the time and money that everyone else always seems to have so much of (my thoughts become so unbelievably unrealistic!!!). But I also need to remember that, "Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind, but the race is long... and in the end, it's only with yourself." that's a lyric taken from Baz Luhrmann's, "Wear Sunscreen" song. Yeah, you've heard it. And he's right.

I kick myself for wrapping myself up in this game of wants. This is when I want to walk and live on only what I need. I was there, and I realized how little I really do need. I can do this. I can simplify. I need to get past some obstacles of regular everyday life, but I can do it... can I?

I just need to remind myself that I have a great husband who loves me more than I will ever begin to understand (wish I did), I've got some great friends, an amazing set of parents that have been nothing but supportive my entire life and behind me no matter what, and a future full of just about anything I can dream up. I've got love, friendship, adventure, determination, goals... I'm a happy girl.

Aaah, another great lyric by my favorite artist, Modest Mouse: "If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed, am I right?" What fun would it be if you could just wish up anything and get it? Effort and hard work with pride as the grand prize -- what a rewarding way to live.

To end my crazy day's blog entry... here's Eddie Vedder's lyrics from the movie Into the Wild. The song called, "Society."

It's a mystery to me
we have a greed with which we have agreed
You think you have to want more than you need
until you have it all you won't be free

society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me

When you want more than you have you think you need
and when you think more than you want your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
'cos when you have more than you think you need more space

society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me

there's those thinking more or less, less is more
but if less is more how you're keeping score?
Means for every point you make your level drops
kinda like its starting from the top
you can't do that...

society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me
society, have mercy on me I
hope you're not angry if I disagree
society, crazy and deep
I hope you're not lonely without me